Cold Feet
by Leauh2o
Summary: With everything going on, Sharon is having second thoughts about getting married.


A/N need to get this finished before the wedding episode… just one of those ideas you need to get down

* * *

Andy was beside himself when Rusty found him. Rusty had experienced and seen some rather disturbing things in his short life. He had seen gang bangers brought to tears by the stress of interrogation but to find Andy Flynn folded over, head in hands, shoulders shaking, made him feel physically ill. A thousand scenarios flashed through his mind each more disturbing and dire than last.

His body was trapped, his feet rooted to the floor as his mind wrestled with his fear. To know or to remain ignorant to the cause of the Lieutenant's anguish.

Andy heard someone approach. He looked up hoping it was Sharon. That she had come to her senses.

"Liet… um Andy are you ok? What happened? Is mom ok?" The questions just spilled out riding a wave of worry and dread.

Andy couldn't find his voice, speaking the words would cause him to relive it all over again. He only dropped his head and held out his open hand.

"What the hell?" Rusty sucked in air so quickly his words almost hissed. A beautifully cut diamond ring lay in Andy's hand.

"What happened Andy is mom ok?!" Rusty grabbed Andy's arm.

Andy could only nod. The crestfallen look in Andy's eyes told him.

"She...mom called off the wedding?" Rusty could see the pain his words caused. "Jesus, Andy? I don't understand. What happened?"

Andy couldn't respond. For Christ sakes he wanted a drink, hell he wanted the whole god damned bottle. He didn't even notice when Rusty had stepped away. The sound of Rusty's voice sounded a million miles away.

* * *

"Louie, What is it? What's happened?" Patrice became alarmed when all the color had drained from her husband's face.

"Don't let him out of your sight! I'll be right there!" Louie all but shouted into his phone. "I knew it! Now what do we do!" His ranting made little sense to Patrice.

She watched as he grabbed his keys.

"Where are you going? What's happened? Is it work?"

Louie was so preoccupied with getting over to Andy that he tried to wave Patrice off.

"Oh no you don't!"

"Patrice I'll explain it all later. Right now I have to go!"

Patrice snatched his keys. "I am not about to let you drive like this!"

"I am perfectly capable…" he began but knew that determined look from Patrice. "Fine, fine," he said as he ushered her toward the door, "I'll explain on the way."

"Louie, where are we going?"

"Andy and Sharon's," he said pushing her out the door.

* * *

It had to be done. They had been fooling themselves. It was for the best, he would see that. In time.

If it was the right decision then why was she feeling so restless. She wrapped her arms more tightly around herself.

That tortured look in his eyes when she pressed the ring into his palm haunted her.

It was the right choice. He hadn't come to the annulment decision on his own. That had been a manipulation. The thought of becoming financially entangled made her stomach drop. It was the right choice.

She wasn't certain how much time had passed.

"Mom!"

Rusty was taken by surprise when she jumped back from his touch. When she hadn't responded to his repeated calls, he had gone in search of her. Her car was still in the garage. He couldn't think of where she could have gone. Would she have walked? called a cab? Where could she be?

Rusty had finally resorted to calling in the cavalry. Tao didn't like the idea of pinging the Commander's phone but under the circumstances, he relented. Rusty was relieved and terrified to learn she, well her phone, was still at condo. He knew she wasn't in their condo and quickly learned neither was her phone.

He had taken a guess starting his search on the roof deck as soon as Lieutenant Provenza and Patrice had arrived. They barely exchanged words. Rusty merely pointed toward the distraught Andy before rambling quickly about finding his mother.

She had been so lost in thought when Rusty found her. So caught up in her own head that she startled when he touched her. She had no idea if he did or how many times he may have called out to her. His concern and fear colored his expression even as he tried to appear calm.

"Rusty...ah...um...sorry I was …" she trailed off with a sigh her gaze wandering out toward the cityscape again.

"Mom? What happened? I mean Andy? Andy is a mess!"

"I'm ...hmmm...sorry for that. I just ...it never would have worked," was all she managed to say as she stared off into the distance.

"Come on Mom. You can...like...fix this. You guys always ..,"

Sharon just shook her head, "not this time."

"Mom?" Rusty voice took on the pleading tone of a child.

Sharon gave him a small half hearted smile as she caressed his cheek.

He took her hand in both of his, "What happened?"

She only shook her head again looking out into the distance.

"Mom… if this… oh my god… Mom is this because of me?"

Sharon turned quickly to look at her son.

"It is … Mom, no."

"Rusty," her voice revealed more emotion than she had hoped. "Rusty," she began again, "this has nothing to do with you."

"Don't lie to me Mom. You're calling it off because of Stroh." Rusty began to pace. "He ...I might as well be dead."

"Rusty!" Sharon's voice was strained but stern. "Don't ever say that." She grabbed his shoulders and almost shook him.

"Stroh doesn't even need to show his face to ruin my life. Your life," Rusty pulled away from her. He gestured toward the door, "Andy's life! He doesn't need to kill us … like seriously… he gets to torture us … for what like … forever?!"

Rusty seemed to only be getting started. "Come on Mom … the monster doesn't get to win. You can't do this Mom ...it's not right…"

Sharon pulled him into an embrace, trying to soothe him and probably herself if she were being honest.

"I know it's not fair." She whispered. "But I need you safe."

Rusty pulled back, "Mom…" he sighed. "Breaking up our … our family ...won't keep me ...like Mom don't you get it … we're safer ...and … better ...ya know ...together."

"We'll be together, Rusty. Our family is … and will be together. I won't... let anything happen to you."

—

* * *

Patrice sat quietly next to a now very still and serous Andy. He hadn't said a word since they arrived. Louie on the other hand hadn't stopped talking or pacing. So when Andy finally stood up catching the couple off guard the silence was palpable.

Without a word Andy turned heading for the door. Provenza didn't know whether to stop him or simply follow him.

"Now where the hell are you going?!" Provenza demanded.

Andy didn't bother to answer, stop or even acknowledged his partner.

"Hold on Flynn! If you think I am letting you out of my sight! Well I'm not! You … you are not going to throw 20 years of sobriety out the window!"

That had Andy come to an abrupt halt.

"Jesus Louie you think ! Honestly! Ya I want a drink right now." He held up his phone to display a message from Rusty which read "found her, roof."

"I want her more," and with that Andy was out the door with Provenza hog on his heels until Patrice caught her husband's collar.

Provenza sputtered when his collar began to choke him. "Hey!"

"This he needs to do on his own," Patrice soothed straightening his collar and steering him toward the condo to collect their things before heading home.

* * *

"Rusty, this," she waved her hand as she struggled to select the proper words, "this isn't just about Phil Stroh. I ...I am not going to discuss this right now. Just know that what's happened between Andy and me has nothing to do with you." She paused looking up at the night sky. It was painful to say his name. After tonight it would most likely become Lieutenant again.

"Mom? Seriously nothing to do with me? We all like live together… and," Rusty's voice broke.

It was then she realized he was crying.

"Oh, Rusty," she all but whispered as she pulled him into her arms.

"Can't you work it out? We were going to be a family." Rusty mumbled in her shoulder.

"It's complicated. Rusty, look at me," she held him at arm's length. She noticed Rusty take a quick over her shoulder. "Andy and I discussed it." She swallowed finding her mouth and throat suddenly dry. "It was hard. But we both agreed it was for the best. I … we didn't… think it through."

She could feel Andy approaching.

"I kinda thought we did."

Sharon closed her eyes and sighed.

"Andy," her voice wavered. She swallowed and tried again. "Andy we can't get married. And I am not discussing this again. Not …"

"In front of me?" Rusty interrupted. "Yah cause what you do ...like has no effect on me… right?"

"Rusty!" Sharon's tone was harsh.

"He does have a point Sharon. It does affect him."

Andy almost smirked at the look she shot him, almost. "And to say 'we' made this decision is a bit of a stretch. You decided."

"Andy!"

"I … let you have your way," he shrugged. "But I don't like it. In fact I hate it." With that he quickly grabbed her left wrist pulling her hand toward him. Sharon was initially too shocked to react. He dropped the ring, her ring into her palm. "This is yours. It will always be yours whether you decide... to marry me or ...not."

Rusty could see that this discussion was going to escalate. His mother and Andy rarely fought. They disagreed, became frustrated with the other's behavior and choice sometimes but they rarely fought. This he felt this was going to be an exception. He moved away from them but couldn't quite make himself get in the elevator.

"Andy… I can't keep this." She tried to keep her hand from shaking.

"Sharon, I love you. Nothing you said today changed that. I'm not trying to say that it will be easy being married and working together and dealing with that nutjob Stroh."

"Andy…"

"No. You had your say. I listened and now that I've had some time to think," Andy took hold of her hand more gently this time. He wrapped her fingers around the ring enveloping her hand in his.

"I think you are wrong, more wrong than you have ever been about anything."

She pressed her lips together trying to keep her emotions at bay. She was finding more challenging to maintain her composure as an inexplicable number of feeling tumbled through her simultaneously. All she could really do was breathe and listen. She owed him that much even if his words no matter how sweet or persuasive would alter her decision.

"Mason may have ideas. Ideas about how things will run from now on. Ideas about the chain of command, our duties and how we do our jobs. Sharon our relationship has never interfered with how we do our jobs. And I'm talked way back when we all hated and distrusted you and all your little FID flying monkeys."

Andy thought she almost smiled at that reference but he couldn't be sure.

"Is there a lot of talk about us at work? Yah maybe but it's more like how'd a guy like Flynn end up with a class act like Raydor? Most of it is just stupid gossip shared by stupid bored people. Now has Winnie Davis thrown our relationship in your face a time or two? Sure, but she's petty and jealous of your success. Success you earned and everybody on the force knows it."

Sharon slowly pulled her hand from his. "I can handle Winnie Davis."

"Yah... I know you can. Our relationship doesn't break any of the rules. Even before you rewrote the book. Hell, Sharon I'll transfer. I'll retire."

"It's not only work, Andy."

"I know I got pushed into the annulment idea but Sharon honestly I would have gotten there. I know I wasn't ready to be a good husband and father when Sandra and I got married. I was too young, too emotionally immature. I didn't take the sacrament seriously. I'm not that naive kid anymore. I know my feelings. Most of the time... I know yours too. Sharon, I want us to be a family, legally, spiritually the three of us … the whole nine yards."

Sharon couldn't look at him.

"The only way I'm letting you walk away is if you don't love me." Andy shrugged a little, "well that's not entirely true."

She looked at him, eye shimmering with tears.

"I'm here Sharon, for better or worse, in sickness and health, with stepkids and ex spouses and pain in the ass partners and yes even psychotic maniacs. I'm not going anywhere. You are it for me. I love you. I wish I could say it better."

She smiled through her tears, "You said it just fine." Somehow her hand had found his tie as it always seemed to do. Rusty took this as a good sign.

"If anything happened to you. I just … I don't think I can get married. I can't put everyone in danger."

She shook her head. They had had this discussion already. Talking about it more was not going to change the fact that Stroh would stop at nothing to exact his revenge. She was not going to make it easy for him.

"Sharon, half of the LAPD is going to be there. The other half will probably show up just to make sure Stroh never gets close. Sharon I'd say let's go to the courthouse ...get married, but I know how important it is to be married by your priest in your church."

Andy took her left hand. Sharon knew what he was going to do. She wanted to pull her hand back, to stop him, protect him, but she wasn't strong enough. She couldn't stop the tears as he slipped the ring onto her finger again whispering, "with this ring I thee wed."

Sharon leaned into him. She knew she should push him away but she couldn't. He had slowly steadily wrapped himself around her heart so much so at times she couldn't find the divide between them.

He held her close. "We can postpone." He whispered.

Sharon shook her head against his shoulder. "No. You're right."

Andy stepped back to gauge her expression.

"Can I get that last bit on the record?"

His relief was tangible when she laughed before pulling him close again.

"Not on your life," she murmured again his neck causing him to chuckle.

* * *

Rusty breathed with relief. As quietly as he could he called the elevator and finally stepped inside. Provenza would probably be just as relieved as he was.

The End

—/—-

A/N started this before the start of S6 so it is a bit off based on the episodes so far. Hope it passes muster. Sorry for the typos.


End file.
